Badness

Day six in the hospital 3:53 am.
Everything is stopping working.
Yesterday completely loss strength in my legs. Fell once in the floor.... Itls been harder to pee the past few days and yesterday I stopped being able to go. Two catheters later, they can't put the kind you leave in without doctors orders. So.... Trying to limit fluids till morning. Yesterday was my last solumedrol infusion. Initially one of the neuro fleet ladies said that Dr. jackson said i should stop iv steroids cold turkey no tapering and be sent home. This scared the ever loving shit out of me.

If I stop high dose steroids withiut tapering I get anaphylaxis. But, Dr. jackson did not know this. Apparently the fleet did not read my notes here at hospital either, because dr. Jay of the fleet gave me that look, saying it is extremely rare to have an adverse reaction to steroids. So I had to explain myself, and that it has happened twice and I do not want to die. Good thing I caught that, eh? Tapering for about two months is needed. Also I am weaker, cannot pee, and having increased pain and they wanted me to go home? Physical therapy came in and realized how weak
Imwas... Was (supposed) to notify drs that it is not recommended that I leave hospital care at this time. Had mri today.... Docs did not have chance to look at it yet. Had my mom come up here earlier cuz my sentences were not forming right, and I needed a voice to speak for me when I am panicked and cannot convey my concerns correctly.

Language barrier and bad communication dr. Jay was explaining maybe what I need is a sort of  nursing home for you ger people to get better. The jist was this: i have had five day treatment here, they dunno what my ms will do next, I should consider nursing home as I cannot walk, need morphine, tapered steroids (someone to watch me) and an actual neurologist that takes medicaid. Have no idea if medicaid would even cover something like this. This worried me as I feel symptoms have increasingly gotten worse fast, and they wanna kick me out. I need pain meds.... And honestly I have to admit to myself that it is unsafe to attempt to move by myself. Also risk allergic reaction coming off steroids and being alone is not safe.

My arms hurt so bad...hope for answers tomorrow.