Today is an unpleasant day.
A lot of stress in my life right now. Restless Body Syndrome and pain have been increasing throughout my day. I have stepped down from 35 mg pred. to 30 mg and my physical and mental capacities are being affected. The range of emotions I am feeling is exhausting. I am tired of crying and having this overwhelming sense of urgency that I should be doing something, but I do not know what. I get very confused easily. Hot flashes and a swelling throat is no fun either. Mental side effects are much worse in my opinion.
I had a meltdown because I made "snail jello" for my aquatic mystery snails a while back and I have been meaning to cut it up and freeze it but my arms have been hurting so bad. It has been on my to do list... I guess it has been more than a week before making the batch because it has now gone bad. It's the little things like this that tops off my stress and I lose my shit. Like end of the world kind of anxiety, I just want to lay in the floor and die type of depressing thoughts. I know logically its the MS and Prednisone, but the part of my brain associated with emotion doesn't care about reason. Its days like this that I want to give up the constant fight. My arms/neck/shoulders/back ache so bad. Pain management is another issue to bring up with dr.snow.
Love/hate relationship with Prednisone.
I am trying my best to do what I can for myself amidst this hell and the delusion the the world is ending.I wish I had a personal helper 24/7
To remind myself of what I have done today..
- Called Dr. snow to check on my Lyrica fax... Had to leave a message.
- Called genetecist Dr. Slotnick to see why I needed more genetic counseling... Insurance issues.
I have a phone appt with Gene Screen now.
- Attempt to scan and print needed SSDI information but my scanner printer totally died. Just my luck. We have to figure something out tonight.
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