Its days like this that I just want to say fuck it all. Fuck every single bit of it. I am tired of fighting the fight with every single goddamned doctor. It is so distressing I want to give up on myself, the world, and everyone in it. My emotional state is fragile... No more pre-multiple sclerosis cool, calm and quiet and nice Vanessa. Something has just fucking snapped in me today, I have no more patience for stupidity and incompetence. I Just don't. I can only be nice for so long whilst being treated like I do not exist, and that my issues do not matter to my doctors, even when they are emergencies. I can take a lot of shit in Stride, but There is a limit of the amount of shit I will take and add to my shit pile before I explode. And explode I did.
Calm and quiet does not get you anywhere within the medical world I have realized. I have to be angry and loud and demanding. Something normally foreign to me, with the exception of days like this. I have not only a rising anger at those not doing their jobs, but this anger turns into sadness as well. Which turns into unstoppable tears, and me bawling my eyes out because the entire big picture is so fucking sad and ridiculous.
Healthcare is so SO broken.
Why can't people people just do their job? Do they not know that their mistakes are directly affecting people's lives and ability to get the help they need? Setting emergencies back weeks even months!l Jesus fucking christ. Faxes are not that hard. But somehow SOME how they ALL get lost in fax land. Not one doctor not two.. Not coincidence. It happens at every single damn doctor I see. They cannot get a fax to its destination. I have to play fax tag all day long. Faxing office has faxed, receiving office never received. Seriously this is a huge problem! How many days have I spent my ENTIRE day playing fax tag? I can't even count. That is not even the tip of the iceberg as far as issues with doctors/staff. Is it because the city likely has a monopoly in the medical sense? We are one City in the middle of the friggin desert, options as far as medical care are very limited. I am frustrated, and had to write it out.
Stress is through the roof. Taking calm-down pills before I make my NEXT set of calls. Ugh...... Rant over.
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